December 16, 2004

I have Hodgkin's Lymphoma

At the beginning of November while at school I came across a lump about the size of a pea in my neck. This was strange to me because I was not prone to swollen glands. I asked a few people about it and they told me if it hadn't disappeared in a few days you might want to go to the doctor and check it out.

A week later, Tuesday and it was still there. So I decided to go to the doctor. I was able to get in to the doctor that evening at 6:15. I felt stupid going to the doctor because I new it was nothing. I even felt like I was wasting the doctor's time since he had many other patients sicker than I.

He asked me the usual questions. Have you felt sick? Night sweats? Weight loss? All of which was no however I have been sweating for years. I have been trying to lose weight. He wanted me to go the hospital that evening and get a chest x-ray and blood work. I thought it was strange that he had me go right then but I was afraid to ask any questions.

On Friday, the doctor's office called back and now wanted me to do a CT scan the following Tuesday, before Thanksgiving. Now I was really getting worried. My husband was also worried. I convinced him it was just routine. I think I tried to convince myself as well.

I got the CT done on Tuesday and figured I would find out the test results on Wednesday. Instead, when I got home the doctor himself had left a message on my answering machine wanting me to call him back. I new this couldn't be good information. I was home alone when I returned his call. The office told me he couldn't come to the phone because he was seeing patients and asked for my name. When I told her my name she decided to let me speak to him. I knew then it wasn't the news I was expecting. He got on the phone and told me he thought I had a type of Lymphoma, cancer of the lymph nodes. He was sorry he had to tell me on the phone but he wanted to get me in to see an oncologist before Thanks giving.

When I hung up the phone the only thing I knew to do was cry. I cried, cried, and cried some more. I wondered how I would tell my husband, Phil. Should I call him or wait for him to come home? Would we still be able to start a family? We were so ready to start a family. I called my friend Paula. She helped me calm down. Paula and her husband Rick came over to comfort me and we waited till Phil came home.

That was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I told Phil and we cried some more together. We prayed together. By the end of the evening we had a peace and new we couldn't do anything until we spoke to the doctor.

On Wednesday before Thanksgiving we in to see the Oncologist. She told us that Lymphomas were very treatable and to think positive. She had us go to a surgeon and a biopsy was scheduled for the following Monday. We found out Wednesday, December 1 it was indeed Hodgkin's Lymphoma.


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